I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
