New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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