I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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