Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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