He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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