is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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