You can't special order awesome
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
