I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
