my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
