Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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