I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
