Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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