people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
