trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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