1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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