YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
