hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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