i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
