That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
