Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
