Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
