I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We need a shit load of segways right now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
