take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
