New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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