I bet he comes in French.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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