she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize