I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
tell me about the fingering
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