is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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