The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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