Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She announced her abortion via fbk
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize