I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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