some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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