You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
