I could have mohawked her pubes.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
we're so committed to being not committed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
