wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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