At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
God, I missed his penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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