no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
