Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
