i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
