Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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