you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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