drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
