Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
two words: eviction party
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's not a walk of shame if you run
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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