To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This is my gift to your gina
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
