I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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