it was like his penis was on wheels.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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