matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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