Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
