five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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