I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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