I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
