If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
