singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
