i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
