Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
